He didn't have an alcohol problem and didn't want anyone to surmise otherwise. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and then another. He drove home.ĭrew sat on his living room couch. He decided he didn't want to die in his truck. He jumped into his truck, planning to drive to a nearby park where he had settled on doing it. He placed the note on the most visible place possible, the kitchen counter. He grabbed his handgun from the nightstand. Around 5 p.m., Drew felt a rush of adrenaline. His family would have enough problems after this. He wanted the place to be spotless, as clean as when he moved in. Drew Robinson.' Now he could get everything ready, tidy up the remnants of the last 27 years. Guilt commingled with a sense of peace when he signed the letter: 'I'm sorry. Drew was living his dream and wanting to die. Even they believed the avatar Drew had created: a Major League Baseball player, handsome, charming, funny, with an easy laugh and a big smile. The ones who knew him best and still couldn't see the sadness suffocating him.

He apologized - to Daiana, Darryl, Renee, Britney and Chad, the five people he loved the most. 'I hope eventually that you guys will realize that no one could've seen this coming to prevent it because of how hard I try to hide it,' he wrote, 'and that it's no one else's fault.'

He hated that no one knew how much he hated his life. He had spent the past month alone in his house, confined by the pandemic and quarantined in his own mind. ON APRIL 16, 2020, Drew Robinson woke up, spread peanut butter on a cinnamon-raisin bagel, pulsed a green smoothie, sat at his kitchen table and finished writing a note that would explain to his family and friends why he had decided to end his life. He made his debut with the Sacramento Rivercats on May 6. On May 5, 2021, Drew Robinson was named to the San Francisco Giants' Triple-A roster. NOTE: This story was originally published on Feb. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or at.

This story includes graphic descriptions of a suicide attempt.

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